


Your Love Hit Me (Literally)

by EmiWanKenobi



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fluff and Crack, M/M, can be friendship or pre-relationship either way works really, idk it's just cute and silly, improper use of gardening tools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 00:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmiWanKenobi/pseuds/EmiWanKenobi
Summary: Based on a sort-of tumblr prompt, a look at how Aziraphale's and Crowley's first meeting could have gone if Aziraphale had been down in the garden instead of up on the wall (because what good is being up on a wall when demons come up out of the ground, exactly?)





	Your Love Hit Me (Literally)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [ THIS](https://marveliciousfanace.tumblr.com/post/186538219780/i-know-its-heavily-established-that-god-wanted-eve) tumblr post.

His head has only been above the ground for about a second when the first blow falls. With a hiss he scrambles, coiling up and wiggling away. What in God’s—in Sat—in somebody’s—?

Somewhere above him, between the whooshing and the bashing, he hears a voice, sounding a bit on the panicked side. “No! Bad demon! Bad!”

Something hits him again and he sees stars, and not the ones he helped make, either. Hits him again and he sees a whole nebula of them, all bright and sparkly and burning. 

Get up there and cause some trouble, they said, it’ll be easy. _Right_ , he thinks, _easy_ , before the something hits him again and the world turns to black.

* * *

“Oh dear.”

It’s that voice again. Slowly, ever so slowly, while his senses filter back in, Crawley takes stock of his surroundings. The first thing he notices, with no small amount of relief, is that nothing is hitting him. The second is that everything seems very soft, something pleasant and cool under his body (not his snaky body, he’s a little confused to discover), and something warm and cushiony beneath his head.

Cautiously he peeks one eye open, and the second is quick to follow, both eyes squinting up at the bright world. At first everything’s a bit of a blur, all dazzling white light and beautiful blue eyes and green fluttering back and forth. Then it all sort of shifts into focus, and there’s a face, looking down at him with a frankly adorable amount of concern, fanning him with some sort of giant leaf.

It is, he thinks, a rather lovely face.

“Ngh,” Crawley says.

“Sorry? Didn’t catch that,” the face replies.

“I ssssaid, ouch,” Crawley replies in turn, although of course that wasn’t what he had said, but had sort of been what he meant.

The face turns fretful. “Yes, of course. Do just rest there a moment, I’m sure it’ll feel better if you just lie still.”

Crawley listens, not feeling much inclined to get up anyway. He looks up at the angel (of course it’s an angel) with his golden slit eyes, which seem to frazzle said angel if he holds his gaze for too long.

“Who are you then?”

“I’m Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Garden.”

“Ah.”

“And you are?”

“Crawley,” he answers, although he’s been thinking of changing it. It doesn’t really feel like the right name.

“Ah.”

There’s something Crawley thinks is missing, something he’s forgetting. It takes him a few minutes to think of it, which can probably be blamed on the (several) smacks to his head.

“Didn’t you have a flaming shovel?” he finally asks. He doesn’t see it, although he doesn’t really lift his head from the angel’s lap to look. But he’s suddenly quite sure there was one.

Aziraphale, seeming suddenly shamefaced and freshly flustered, looks away. “Ah,” he repeats. “Well, yes, about that…”

“You did!” Crawley insists. “You did, it wasss flaming like anything, you— hold on. You hit me with it!”

With a wince Aziraphale begins to look really upset. “Yes, well!” he says. “What else was I to do?! You came up out of the ground and you startled me, and I — yes. I hit you. I really am very sorry.”

Crawley thinks he has the right to be a little sore about it. “You can’t jussst go bashing people with shovels. I hadn’t even done anything yet!”

“Yet,” Aziraphale agrees, and the reminder that Crawley very likely would have done something seems to sooth his guilty conscience somewhat. “But you would have.”

Fair point, Crawley privately admits. “How do you know?” he asks anyway. He likes being a little contrary.

“You’re a demon, dear, that’s what you do,” Aziraphale answers. Crawley merely shrugs.

“Alright, fair.”

They sit in silence for a moment or two, the angel shielding them both with his wings, still waving the leaf to brush a cool breeze against Crawley’s skin. It’s rather pleasant, really.

But he’s supposed to be here to cause mischief, and so reluctantly Crawley sighs. “Well, bessst I get on with it, I suppose,” he says. He sits up and frowns, rubbing the back of his head. Behind him Aziraphale tuts and fusses, keeps a hand on his back to be sure he’s steady.

“Are you sure you’re up to it just now?” he asks. “I mean, I’d rather you didn’t make any mischief at all, but if you must you really ought to wait until you feel better.”

Crawley looks back at him. Aziraphale seems sincere (of course he does, can angels be anything but?) and it’s… Crawley would never admit it, even under pain of hell’s worst tortures, but it’s really rather sweet, having someone fuss (even if that someone was only fussing because they’d smacked you with a holy gardening tool in the first place).

“You may have a point,” he muses. With a shrug he lies back again, head settling once more into the angel’s lap. Aziraphale, seeming somehow both discomfited and pleased, pats his shoulder.

It’s rather nice, Crawley thinks, and decides that introducing humanity to the concept of good and evil can wait just a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [ Tumblr](https://readbythestarlight.tumblr.com/) or [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/emiwan_kenobi)  
> Kudos are cupcakes and comments are love.


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